Busy Boy?

The weather has been unusually warm for us at this time of the year.... The girls are outside more than in... chasing squirrels who are also out scampering around.

We have loggers logging not to far from the house so Tom has been busy checking on them all day..... He knows them from his past life in the woods (logging) so they stop and talk with / to /?  him......

The Old Man next door, Tom's buddy, has been keeping Tom occupied too..... He has ice build up problems on his roof, snow on his deck, wood to be hauled into the house and garage for the wood stoves...... snow blower in need of repair....etc.

After surveying the ice on the roof he decided it has to attached to get off?...... after waiting two days The Old Man managed to shovel the deck off ........ and got his wood hauled into the house.....

Tom asked my "help" to get the wood into the garage for him..... That worked out well with the two of us..... Tom sat in front of the stove trying to get it going while I brought in and filled up the racks...... we always did work well as a team....... it was getting pretty smoky in the garage with all that smoke billowing out of the stove..... "shouldn't the damper be open Tom?"  I asked inquisitively..... He stood up to open it while saying.... " this is how he always starts it"  he answered with an unsure tone in his voice...... I dropped it there knowing he had NO clue what he was doing. I turned so he couldn't see my face and got another wheel borrow of wood.....

That evening Tom helped the Old Man repair his snow blower..... "so how did that go?" I asked....... "Well now it's more broke than it was before" he said clueless to the fact that he is the reason it is broke worse..... You would think the Old Man would NOT tell Tom things are broke ...... Tom did the same last summer with his riding lawn mower....AND the Old Man IS well aware of what is ailing Tom.....

So you can see, Tom has been pretty busy these days.... lol
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2/27/11

Here we are.. end of February already.  It hasn't been too bad as Tom's meds are working well for him now.

Sometimes he thinks the medications ARE his problem and says he is going to quit taking them...... I reply with "It's your choice but if it were me and I was doing so well taking the meds... I'm not sure I would want to chance what would happen if I quit."

He says if he gets bad after stopping them he will just go back on them... I replied with..."That's all good BUT from what I have read... anyone stopping their meds and then going back on ..... don't go back to where they where but rather... they have declined more and can not get it back.........

I see him searching for the person he was and what he use to do..... He blames the pills on his lack of ambition and energy..... his tiredness...... and weight gain.  It's probably true in part BUT without the medications he wouldn't be sitting here thinking about what all he has lost.

Tom is anxious for spring..... he thinks there will be more to do?  We are planning on putting up a small garage but that can't begin till the road limits are lifted..... in April.     

He believes he is going to get a BIG DOZER in here and take out all my trees because he is tired of mowing around them......  IF you read the main blog you know he doesn't mow anything...... he just wants to get in a dozer and MOVE some big stuff...... He was born with operating BIG equipment in his blood..... He misses it!

On warmer days he has been down in the woods watching the loggers and talking to a few people he knows.....He sometimes takes one of the older Girls (Mag or Lilly) as they miss the old times too.

Tom sleeps till noon these days which is nice for me.... It seems to be apart of his new self.... He doesn't like the fact he is so tired and can sleep so much but that once again HIM knowing the way he WAS and isn't NOW.

Tom has his wants and needs well taken care of... I see to that first..... if he is happy.. everybody is happy.  It's just the way it is in this world with this disease. 

The hardest thing to accept and adapt to is their selfish self centered-ness which wasn't there when it came to me till this disease took over.....

Point being .... me and the millions other spouses  in my shoes... struggle to find me time.... somedays just being able to step outside the door and take in a breath of fresh air without hearing...."MOM??? WHERE ARE YOU?"

I am kept pretty busy just chasing after Tom and the Girls..... but there are times I find some free time on my hands and that is when I play with my projects..... I don't like to be idle for long......

Time on your hands just gives you time to think about all you are missing out on in the rest of the world..... and it serves no good purpose to even go there.... As a spousal caregiver to this disease it's best to make the best of the world you are confined too........ in hopes that you come out at the end still in tack to go on with your life.

It will be fun to see what March brings ....... We got so much snow this winter I expect spring to be plenty muddy so I am already working on "HOW TO KEEP THE MUD OUTSIDE"   ....... Now with Tom and the 4 girls.... that is a big challenge!   lol

Valentines Day

Valentines Day ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤  &  ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘✘ &  OOOOOO........ Love is in the air.... ♬ ........diamonds and chocolates and roses and cards of LOVE...... candle light dinner and a glass of champagne...... ?

Do I miss it?   No..... we never did all that...... We loved everyday...  On Valentines Day,  we would wake up and say..."will you be my valentine?"..... the other would answer  "yes if you will be mine."  We would giggle as our life together and our love for each other was so "simple"......... and still is.

Though it's different now because he isn't all of who he was because of the disease stealing that part of him..... but his heart  beats for me and will to the end.......  he remembered our valentine exchange this morning .......  

♪ I AM The Lucky-est Women In The World Today! ♬   That's my SONG! ♫

Where Is Everybody....

Where Did Everybody Go?

I pondered that thought after I wrote my last blog "HELLO?"  

I loose site of what a life in the real world is all about.... I am so well adjusted to our life in the woods and living with Alzheimer's...... well pretty much this world is "ALL ABOUT US!   But beyond the realm of "our woods"  life is different... it's busy with day to day events that don't exist in "OUR WORLD"

Where is everybody?  Well I guess they would be busy LIVING their life ........ They give us a part of their life that they CAN...... but their lives are also demanding and busy.... So for them to take ANY time for us out here in OUR WORLD in a gift to us ..... a GIFT of their time taken out of their life.

So today it is lightly snowing.... which means it is warmer today...... which means today is a good day to go for a walk..... BUT one of our girls PEE-eed all over our bed last night Soooooo I have bedding to wash ALLLLL day! 

I don't know what is up with that but she managed to hit every blanket on the bed..... ?       "lge bed = lot's of bedding"

For some reason..... "I am NEVER bored."   lol

HELLO?

This morning when I awoke the sun was shining brightly.... that meant to me it was brutally cold outside but it was so CHEeRful to see the sun glisten......reflecting off the snow...... so bright.

So WHAT are we going to do today?  I sigh.  Warm or cold... sun or no sun.... snow or no snow ...... windy or calm........good day or bad day....... hmmmmm?

It doesn't matter.... I don't know Tom what you can do today..... Call a friend and go for a ride in the woods and see what all the loggers are doing?   Nope... that one friend that hasn't deserted him is in Florida for the winter....

Maybe someone will pop out for a visit..... probably not... that one person doesn't even call since that last "episode"..... Tom doesn't contribute to conversation these days but still likes to hear the gossip around town...... BUT I guess they feel uncomfortable these days....... I don't know because they haven't called me either.

He could go give the old man next door a helping hand......BUT Tom's get up and go do is broke... He wants to.... but?  Guess you have to be in his shoes to understand.

Guess I'll let him sleep..... because when he is awake and has nothing to look forward to he sits and thinks about how he was and wonders where it all went?  It's heart breaking...... 

Hopefully he will have his 4-wheeler back soon (son is fixing it) ... then he can at least buzz up and down the drive way and come in as a choice saying... brr it's cold out there.  I'm staying in here with you where it's nice and warm.

OR when it snows a little bit... he can go plow the snow and feel like he did a day's work.....

WHERE did everybody go?

Super Bowl Sunday

Super Bowl Sunday????  I thought it was about football.....

I do hear the words "who you rooting for?"  but then that is followed by "what you having to eat?" or "what you makin' to eat for the Super Bowl?

Well I made crispy chicken wings and crispy fried french fries....... shrimp dip for his favorite..."old dutch potato chips..... and chocolate pudding pie.  Probably not very traditional but all of his favorite snack foods.

After I made the shrimp dip around noon....... I asked if I should get the rest made so we can just snack all day.... "Well Yah!"

I threw the chicken in the oven to heat and make crispy and started heating the oil for the fries...... "nice and crispy" he reminded me.

"I'm having me a snack"  he says as I start cooking fries.... He and the girls sat in the chair in front of the TV and devoured chips and shrimp dip...... I could hear lot's of smacking noises above the sound of the TV.

After I pulled the first batch of fries out of the deep fryer the chips and dip were put away and before I could get the second batch done and in the pan ...... the first batch was gone...... "mmmm perfect Mom"...... came from the corner of the room.

Third batch of fries were cooking when the chicken came out of the oven...... moments later the chicken was going like nobodies business...... I was beginning to wonder if his stop eating button got broke....

"I'm full Mom..... are you going to have some?"  That didn't require an answer... just a smile.

It wasn't that much after I had a snack "I could go for a piece of pie.... could you?"  I burst out laughing and asked "where are you putting all that food?"   "Just a little piece he said."

We had an hour before game time and I took a little snooze as he watched the pre-game stuff.  The game was fun to watch.... or maybe it's just HE is fun to watch when he is excited about a game......

Back to the food and the game...... What's with the food for this one game when we watch all the other games during the season without the food thing?

Snow On The Roof...

Whew!!!!  What a day... Warm weather brought on the need to remove snow from the roof.....

I started Friday but was finding it difficult to do.  I just didn't have any oomph.  Tom wasn't about to get involved because it looked too much like work.

So Saturday he said he'd give me a hand.... I mentioned it probably wouldn't take long if we took turns while the other rested.....

I could see he was really thinking hard on how to get out of it... so I said.... "it's a sucky job and it's even worse when you don't want to do it..... he sheepishly smiled... I laughed.

Well that didn't last long...... he said he injured his shoulder and couldn't use it...... hummmm??

The job is done.... how much snow we get will determine if it needs to be done again this year but the TOWN CRYER or in this instance.... TOM announced that will be good enough now for the rest of the year.... ?

Poor Tom struggles with knowing things that need to be done or things he could do but the part of the brain that motivates you to get up and do is broke.... he didn't know that... the last visit to the Dr. he asked if he could give him a pill that will give him his ambition back.......

I explained it to Tom and told him not to fret about what he can't do but get up and get out and DO things he still can......  WE still has a life to live....

A New Day

A cold snap just ended bringing us temps in the 20's and 30's..... above that is.  Warm temps usually bring in snow with it.... I like it because it gives me outside chores to do...

Shoveling, snow blowing and removing snow from the roof..... I love winter and the out doors but the only time I get outside these days is to go out and do the have to-do-s...... Tom tolerates my absents because he doesn't want to do the work.......
There is a golden lining in everything..... : )

He does keep the coffee on and calls me in often to "warm up & take a break"....... so it takes me most of the day to do what I normally could do in a few hours.... BUT that's okay..... We have the time.

The past week I have been safety proofing the house as we step into the unknown.... because of two great forums on the internet... (www.thealzheimerspouse.com and www.alz.org ) ......I know what to do next.... and sort of what to expect to some extent....

As each person is unique... so is this disease in each person BUT there are many characteristics that are the same.... and all the safety issues apply.

I am so busy I don't have time to be bored..... and when I have some time to myself I have hobbies to relax with...... I've never been an idle women so I guess that makes me suited for this job........ 

I get tired out now and then but for the most part I see everything as a challenge.....and an adventure... and I'm always game for both.

Tom is doing remarkably well according to his Doctor and credits that to his excellent care and that I attribute to GOD and my circle of Angels......