Another Road Trip......

Went on a road trip ......again........ yesterday.... looking for beaver dams/houses.

 It was a beautiful spring day....nice day for a ride in the woods..... March has been unusually warm so the snow is almost gone and the creeks are running.

 We searched out new territory....and the more we traveled it.... the more he liked it and he decided this was where he was going to trap.    "Yep I can set camp here. "

You can drop me off with my 4-wheeler, tent... a few cans of beans and dinty moore, loaf of bread, 5 gals of water, coffee,coffee pot and my little one burner.  You can pick me up in a week."

We drove this road for most of the day.  It's a big logging area, some hunting shacks, 30 miles from home....... pretty isolated.

 We let the girls out to run and they played in a water hole for awhile. 

 Tom threw a stick for them.....two or three times.  We didn't know if Sarah would like the water like the other three but she didn't hesitate to go in with the rest.  

 When we got home Tom started rounding up the things he needed for this trapping excursion.  A cot from one person, a trailer from another...someone to pull the trailer with the 4-wheeler to drop him off.

OR maybe Travis could just come and slap one on the van real quick....trailer hitch that is.  No mind to the fact he is a single father with 3 little kids and a job....probably has a full plate of his own.

His traps he ordered with his trapping money from his furs last fall will be here today...... I asked if he had to dye them.  He said yes and he needed some dye.

I also don't think he added gas at $ 2.94 a gal and that it is turning seasonally cold this week end with snow.  OH I forgot.  He was leaving this Friday.... just a small part of this equation I left out.......

Did I mention cell phones don't work in this area...we don't have one anyway as we can't afford it on limited income......tracking devices don't work either as it is too densely wooded.

This morning he was cold in bed and said..."boy I'm glad I'm here with you because it would be really cold out there this morning climbing out of a tent.  Maybe I better stay home."  I said "that's a good idea."

Now you would think it would end there.  NOPE!

My OOPS!

Oh Dear..... we had a bit of a crisis last night....

I always set our Mr. Coffee pot up the night before to make coffee.  This is a different pot from what we had for years.  Recently the Bunn bit the dust and we were blessed with a Mr. Coffee.

So when Tom wakes in the middle of the night and wants to have a coffee party he just has to push the "on" button...... if he can't find the "on" button I figure he can hit all the buttons till the coffee starts to brew....no harm done.

I figure I have all my bases covered...Right?  Apparently NOT last night.  I forgot (YES FORGOT) to empty the old coffee from the pot.  OOPS!!!

"MOM.....you did something wrong.... there is coffee all over the place"...... I hear panic in his voice.
 

This is 3:00 AM....."Oh just wipe it up with what ever you can find....I'll clean it up in the morning." I holler back not sounding alarmed.   I'm so tired.....I don't remember the last time I slept a whole night with out  interruptions.

"Mom.... it's still running over"..... Now he sounds annoyed.  "It will quit soon.  Just wipe up what you can and don't worry about it."  and let me sleep I think to myself.

He comes back to bed with his coffee..... "Must of forgot to empty the pot last night huh?"   He loves it when I screw up!  I lay silent for a while than I piped up....

"Maybe this is where they got the saying my cup runeth over...." he burst out laughing and said "more like my pot runeth over..... all over!"  LOL

Cutting Firewood : )

At the crack of dawn Toms been flying out of bed excited to go out and cut more fire wood for his stove in his shack.....We have been having some beautiful 40's temps and sunshine........

Before he leaves for the woods he gets a fire going in his stove and asks me to keep and eye on it and not let it go out......He leaves the door ajar so the girls can run in and out......

 He makes about three trips a day.... I stacked all I could on the deck and the rest is in a pile to be stacked when the snow is gone.......

I bring out a thermos of coffee as that's the main staple in a shack.....and a radio to listen to the games..... baseball has started.......I see a bed for him in the very near future (from someone who cares).......

Trapping is out of his mind for now as it will have to wait till the river opens....  : )  So for now he just runs around telling everyone he feels "HAPPY"  hence he named his new pill "HAPPY"  He calls his Zoloft his "SPAZOID PILL"

BUT Tom never ceases to make me laugh.......He was talking to his brother yesterday on the phone..... He was telling him how nice his shack is and how it's fixed up just the way he wants it......"It's so nice that I don't think I'm going to skin any beaver in there now.  That is what I had originally planned to do.... I just can't...it's to nice"

 ????????? Did I just hear that right????? THE BEAVER are not the issue here because he has to actually catch one first before we have to worry about skinning it......

The trap line and all the beaver he has caught is just stories........now and then he puts out some traps and then the next day pulls them.....????? and he has been known to bring a beaver home now and than.....

Okay back to his comment to his brother...."ummm Tom?"  I quietly approach him. "what?" he answers.  "You won't skin a beaver in your shack BUT think nothing of skinning it in our house on our kitchen table?"   and of coarse I burst out laughing.....

He thought about it for a second and than started laughing too........as did his brother when he relayed what I said.  Later he said.... "I say some pretty silly things some times don't  I "..........

Yes you do and that one was really funny.......and we laughed together.
 

"Grampa's Shack"

The sun had set and dark had settled in....the stars were out but not adding any light to the darkness.  The girls started making a ruckus.... I looked out the window and barely made out a truck and figures of people.......

I turn on the out side light......it's dim against the darkness but I recognize my daughter and her boy friend.  The were unloading something....it was a little wood stove for "Grampa's Shack."

Tom stepped outside to see what was going on....... in the darkness he sees Sandy.......but still confused about what was going on..... "We brought you a wood stove for your shack," she tells him.  "Oh my goodness" he says with excitement in his voice....... You could tell he could hardly believe it was true.

I think it was back in 2004 ....... Tom wanted to build a "little shack"  He spent the most significant part of his life in shacks with his Dad....."a logger" and they also had the "hunting shacks".......

He didn't think it possible. I said anything is possible but it depends on how bad you want it because only you can make it happen.....
 

 So "WE" built this little shack...... When we were done he sat down on the deck and wiped the sweat from his brow and said......"Now I'm Home"

Those words were said with such passion I got a chill.  I will never forget that moment and those words ......and unbeknown to me years later those words would carry a significant meaning  as Tom digresses into the world from which he came.....

These past years this shack just sat there..... it took on storage items after time..... after all he didn't use it........?

But I've been listening to what he tells others about his shack..."these days" along with his "trapping stories"......... it was simple and doable.

 So yesterday we threw the storage out and put in the wood stove.......by evening there was a warm fire crackling in the stove......

I could see through the small window in the door......

Tom sitting at the little table rolling cigarettes, listening to the radio and talking to his old hound dog "Maggie" who lay on the floor by his side.

As I got closer I heard him tell her "soon ol' Dad will have a bed in here for us....and than we can spend a night or two in here together"........
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In Toms mind, putting in the wood stove was a breeze... it went well and we had fun doing it together.....while the girls scampered around the yard playing with there balls and sticks.

Tom did well when we went to the store to buy parts for the stove..... There was a time we loved shopping together and than the time came that shopping for Tom became a night mare to him.....

Since the new medication he was fine in the store but I still had to help him find what he was looking for.......and when we got to the check out I sent him out to check on the girls in the van......

Tom struggled with what order to do things...... he had trouble fitting pieces together......really wasn't sure what to do... so I tried to guide him in a way he didn't notice.... he did a lot of screaming and hollering out of frustration, but I would calmly redirect so he didn't notice his own confusion.....

BUT I DID LAUGH when he asked me to put the tar (in a caulking tube) on the part that went on the roof.... he watched me struggle to squeeze the caulking gun and yelled out orders like a drill sergeant.... "more here...not to close to the edge .....come on your squeezing it like an old woman.... more over here...geeze I should just do it myself".............  I laughed and said "why aren't you doing it?"  He said "because you want to"............ "No I don't" ....... "Yes you do because you think you know everything."  I said "here...you do it........I want your job.....I want to sit and tell you how to do it and where to put it."    He so didn't get it but did finish the job. LOL

So I agreed with him that it went well and we all had fun doing it together.

GO TO SLEEP!!!!

I'm use to getting up at 4:00 AM to let the girls out to go potty...... I'm even okay with our 4:00 AM occasional coffee parties..... But getting up to go trapping at 4:00AM has me in a bit of a tizzy.

I told him,  "be quiet and go to sleep"..... he said, "I'm getting up and going trapping"..... I said, "no your not go to sleep".....he laughed and said,  "your funny"....... I said,  "go to sleep".....

He was quiet just long enough for me to drift almost to sleep and he'd start in again...."I'm wide awake!"....."go to sleep!"......."I hate getting woke up," referring to the girls..... "me too go to sleep!"........."I'm going trapping!"......"no your not go to sleep!"...... giggle.....

6:00 AM Tom flies out of bed....turns all the lights on.....TV blaring.....the girls all curl up around me looking out toward the other room....They look at me as if to ask...What's wrong with Dad?  They know this is NOT the morning routine.....They wait for me to respond to see if it's safe to get up.......

I get up and join Tom... he's laughing....slowly the girls emerge with caution...... their tails wag when they see everything is fine.  We'll take a nap when I get home he says......

He sharpened his chain saw...he uses that to cut holes in the ice.  Fixed a hole in his boot where the seam let go......drank lot's of coffee ......and slowly put his layers of warm cloths on.  I could tell he had a time of departure in mind.

He left at 7:30 AM and as he walked out the door I said "no telling anyone F**k You! or anything thing else that's not nice......"Okay Mom,"  he answers as he slides out the door........

Tom was back by 8:30 AM..... "That was quick" I said as I greeted him at the door.  "The ice is all slush so I pulled my traps"....... He looked bummed..... He went back to bed and left me to start my day......?????
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I am well aware that it takes time for the meds to build up and level off in his system...... I also am aware of some decline...... And where he plateaus is anyone's guess.

So I try not to mind bouncing around like a big rubber ball and just go with things the best I can........ It blows my mind to see how clueless he really is about everything going on around him..... And he thinks he's as sharp as a tack......

Oh Boy! I have some ideas to keep him occupied till spring thaw... I hope it works.

Happy Birthday Tom ❤

Tom I really missed you.... I seen you slowly turn and leave....
I wanted so desperately to keep you...here safe with me.

But the demon that dwells within your head.... had a firm hold on you
He managed to  drag you down, into the depths of hate and despair.

I cried and called out to you....pleading for you to come back.......
But the demon had his grip on you and you weren't turning back.

This is where I turned to God and on bended knee I prayed...
Oh Lord please bring him back, safely to me.

The Lord gather up his/my children and softly spoke to them...
I need you all to help me, with your mothers plea.........

For her faith is strong and withstood the test of time.....
through all the trials I've put her through..... she never faltered, not one time.

She has always turned to me, on bended knees and prays
remembering to come back , singing thankful praises to me.

Tom is back safe with me in my care again.....
as we continue this journey together...... to the bitter end.

 "I Love You Tom"     Happy Birthday and Welcome Back