It's A Buck!

Tom hadn't seen a deer  and it was now Sunday evening.  He was in his stand and evening was closing in once again. 


Not many shots have been heard down in these parts of the woods since opening, so Tom wasn't feeling alone.  He sat there thinking it was going to be another uneventful night.

Sunday while Tom sat in his stand.......Me and my girls (dogs) went to Littlefork to get one of our grand daughters for the night.  It was Abby's turn and she was so excited!!!!!!!  They didn't have school on Monday and Grampa thought it would be good if Gramma had company while he hunted.

Abby and the girls were playing in the bed room when I seen a deer come out from behind the stand.  I got Abby and sat her on a chair near but not too close to the window so she could see Grampa get his deer. 

She loves hunting and just seen her Dad get his the day before.  The deer crossed over in front of the stand into Tom's sights.  We waited quietly for the deer to turn and stop.  Seemed like forever.

Than "K A - B O O M!!!!!!!!"   Abby nearly fell off her chair as she screamed  " HE GOT IT.....YEAH!!!!!! GRAMPA GOT THE DEER!!!!!"
 
We waited for Grampa to come get us and when he came through the door she said to Grampa with excitement in her voice.. "Grampa...it just fell over like Daddy's did this year!  It just fell over"

It was a good hit...right through the neck....and it dropped like a ton of bricks...right in it's tracks.....
 

We headed out to check out his deer.  Abby kept running ahead and Grampa would have to call her back.......

Abby made it extra fun for us.  She was so proud and excited and it made Grampa feel so good.  He'd just giggle at her.

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Big gifts come in little packages and she was a very special gift that night.  As she laid curled up against me that night in our big bed and the girls all snuggled in around us, Grampa popped his head up and looked at us all and I could see the biggest, warmest, most loving look on his face.  Than he snuggled in and fell asleep with the rest of us.

"That story was for Tom..... He loved how I wrote it.... It's the way he knows it should have been......."

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Year after year.....the week before opening... cleaning the gun...sighting it in... where is my this and where is my that.  Sleepless nights.....past hunting stories are told...gearing up for that opening morning was a yearly ritual.

Awake all night, watching the clock...finally it's time to get up and head for the stand.....Breathing is heavy almost gasping for air as the adrenalin rushes in with the anticipation of what the morning light will show.

This year the DAY before opening he put heat in his stand...vacuumed out the flies and washed his windows.  I gathered together the rest of the things that he need in his stand.......and brought it to him.  He seemed to be unconcerned or excited about any of it.

He didn't sleep that night but many a nights he lay awake and finally drifts off to sleep in the am.  Hence his sleeping till ten most mornings.  He made coffee at four and I woke around five. 

He asked "Mom? I don't know if I should get up or not."  "The chances of deer coming in are probably slim so why don't I go watch from the window and you try to sleep." I replied.  He liked that answer and snuggled in.

Saturday was to be a beautiful sunshiny day and I could so see the change in him from who he was so I encouraged him to go ride around with a friend that day. That is something he NEVER liked to do during hunting unless it was to just go see what everybody else had gotten.

I had a brief talk with a nice young man (Bob) who likes Tom and Tom responds to him well.  So I have no worries when Tom is with him.

Bob was here by nine and Tom was ready to go.  The only order I gave him was to relax and enjoy the beautiful day. He promised he would.  So off he went.  I felt like a Mom sending her kid off on a first.........

They returned at 5:30 pm  just after dark..... They seemed to have had a nice day.... Tom was not real responsive.  Kind of zombie like.  He said he was tired and starving.  I had super ready and he scarfed it down.  We were in bed and lights out by 8 pm.  Normally it's 10:00 or later.

This morning I woke to let the girls out to go potty and made coffee......I seen a tail of a deer skip off.  I let the girls in and tried to get Tom excited by telling him there was a deer out there.  He replied in a soft voice  "that's nice" ....................

I asked how he slept and he said he slept hard all night.  He woke once soaking wet from a night mare.  I remember that as I felt his wet head......... and I heard the phone ring by his head at 9:30 and he didn't even stir.

So I sit here this morning (as he went back to sleep)  my heart is breaking.....the tears I held back now flow freely down my cheeks.  Last year it was his enthusiasm for fishing and now his love for hunting....... These were his PASSIONS in life. These things are what made Tom who he was along with the "stories" he would tell.

I wrote that Sunday morning.......

Tom has only sat in the stand once and that was the evening he got his deer.  He showed NO excitement when he got it...... It was meat.

To others he tells stories of what he would do in the past....... Get up before day light and sit till dark..........

So I sit here hurting alone and in silence.... as the rest of the world thinks nothing is wrong.  He is able to hide this disease and what it is doing to him from most of the world for now.........But it does not change what is.............