Dr. Visit.......

One of Tom's knees has been causing him pain and weakness for the past few months.....So he  (Tom)  had me make an apt. with his family doctor......

Yesterday was "the day"........ Now Tom, like most men, does not like going to the Dr...... Tom, like most men, gets frustrated sitting and waiting for what seems an eternity to be called in....... 

Well Tom has stepped over the thresh hold of impatience and goes kind of "biserk" waiting.....

First he goes "early".... than watches the time.....tick.tick...tick... watches people without moving his head... his face starts turning red... he is holding one wrist with the other hand... kind of twisting it... he is quietly shifting in his chair while he starts to let out loud slow sighs... his breathing gets heavier....

"That's it... I'm leaving if I'm not called in pretty soon!!!"  he exclaims......"Tom, it is only 10 minutes past your apt. time...... we came early".... I calmly state.  That didn't buy much time as some people are being called in but not him..... That adds to his agitation.....

I crack some jokes about stupid stuff .......  trying to distract... I only annoy him and add to his agitated state..... he tells me I'm not going in with him now....."You can stay out here!" he says. 

Okay that is the funniest thing he's said all day...... He'd freak out if I didn't follow him in....... "You better go tell them I'm going to leave"...... "OH BRUTHER!"....... Please spare me this big boys temper tantrum........it's now 20 minutes past his apt time.

I go to the desk and talked to the lady to pacify  my "BBB" (Big Bad Boy)........ We were called in shortly after.... Because it was our turn.........

After his vitals are taken and the exam room door shuts tight he starts pacing......He can hear the voice of his Dr. in the next room..... He starts to comment out loud for them to shut up...... he was whispering so I let it go.... he started to make his naughty boy faces at me so I knew I was dealing with "naughty little Tommy"........

He rarely escalates... just empty threats and naughty..... and he was naughty!!!!

FINALLY the Doc. enters and Tom calms..... He had trouble explaining his knee so after he was done I added a few important symptoms.... Had an x-ray.....and ended up with a cortisone shot in the knee joint......

Tom has developed a slower walking pace and usually tells me to slow down..... Well once we cleared the door to the lobby he was OUT OF THERE.......  At least he was in the right vehicle when I came trailing behind.....

Keeping Cool?

Our humble home we built in the woods can stay pretty cool on a hot day if you shut it down in the coolness or the morn.  I attempt this every morning before Tom gets up for the day.....

When he gets up he says like clock work..."now do what you have to do to keep it cool in here today... You're in charge and I won't say a thing......"

Before noon......the curtains are all open... "I can't stand them being closed!" he says with an attitude.


It can be 90 degrees with 90 percent humidity out and if there is a breeze.... "Open the windows and get some air in here".......... he demands.

He wants an air conditioner BUT he would open the widows and run it on high and when it froze up would claim it is broke.....(been there done that) SO I got a dehumidifier..... Same thing...... he had it running and all the windows open.

Our electric is spendy where we live... and I don't mind paying the price to be cool.  But with Tom at the wheel....I'm sorry but we are just  "pissin' in the wind"..........

We have big ceiling fans in all the rooms........Running 24/7 on high........ a few osculating pedestal fans and a few window fans I like to run "at night"........

So yesterday "Daughter # 2" and Grandson Kalan brought out a turbo floor fan and took the dehumidifier...... (pre-planned) My daughter REALLY NEEDED the dehumidifier???? : )

I believe they said they stood in front of each of the running fans on display and bought the one that blew them into the next isle.... or something like that?

So now we have "high winds" blowing the hot humid air around in the house and it actually isn't too bad...... AND he got cold last night... but all he has talked about was loosing the dehumidifier.... even though he agrees it is much cooler with this turbo fan.......

I even attached seat belts to the chairs as a pre-cautionary measure..... lol.... J/K

Thunder Storm.....

We woke to a thunder storm moving in...... Sarah hadn't heard the cracking and rumble of thunder before...... the skies turned dark quickly..... than came the rain.....  claps of thunder...... and none of the girls could care less.....

When it passed and the sun reappeared our yard was a small lake...... the girls flew out the door to investigate..... when they returned a short time later they were wearing a coat of mosquitoes.....

I brushed them off and shoo-ed them through the door as quickly as I could.....

"MOM!!!! There are mosquitoes in here!!!!!"......  "OOPS!  Guess a few slipped by me"
Did I mention Tom hates bugs with a passion... to a point of obsession........

It was hot & muggy all day...... I worked on a quilt I putz at when things are touch and go..... gives Tom a calm feeling of "home"...... getting too fat on the "aroma therapy" I've used in the past... besides it's too hot to cook.

Late afternoon Tom's sister and her husband dropped by with all kinds of goodies.... it was nice to visit with "outsiders" (outside our world)..... I miss that.

Tom's "Aunt Dorothy" sent out some tops that she didn't want.  They were nice cotton knit ... short sleeve....and they fit.....and were like or were new.

So I gave her a call to thank her.  Now she is 80 years young.... and I really don't know her.  BUT let me tell you... "I like this lady".... She is a spicy & spunky & still lives by herself.   We talked for quit awhile.....

Then another storm rolled through at dusk..... this one came with a tornado warning.... but it pretty much missed us.  Tom was running around .... window to window... I laid in bed and played with the girls till he calmed down and came to bed.  I could see on the TV it was going to miss us........

Today will be very hot and muggy... so I told Tom we can sit in the house and watch the grass grow and complain how hot & muggy & buggy it is outside........ Thursday the temps will be cooling to high 60's ....... than we can complain about all the grass we have to mow...... 

"Have you ever noticed some people are not happy unless they have something to complain about?   LOL  That's Tom!  For Real!....... He never use to complain about anything but now even though he is happy about having something to do... on the phone he COMPLAINS about it?????????

Summer Fun

Summer is here (early = high 70's & 80's) and the mosquitoes are hatching.... we have one more outer building to paint...... so it's now touch and go.  We managed to paint one wall before Tom said we were done painting for the day......

So we mowed some grass here and there.......this year so far he just heads for the tallest grass and mows that area and than moves on to another spot.   It is a two day job to do the whole yard ......or it appears to me that he is antsy  with a short attention span?

Than he decided to cut down a dead tree (Balsam) in the yard and burn it up.  We had that done in no time...... While I was cleaning up the little stuff he was visiting the neighbor..... he came back a short time later and I was done..... "Your done already... I was going to help you."  is what he said when he came back....... 

 The girls were busy..... chasing squirrels...... chasing each other..... Emily and Maggie are die hards... they will sit for hours at a tree with a squirrel in it......Sarah would rather chase butterflies........ and Lilly knows when to walk away.

 We took them down to the river to swim and cool off.  That's their favorite thing to do... If you say the word SWIM they go ballistic.  Sarah swims like an Otter and of coarse Maggie is determined to get to the stick Tom throws before the rest...... even if she has to take it away from someone else..... Lilly lays await on shore to pounce on the first one in to shore....... Emily likes to swim around and around......  Sarah will join her.  It's fun to watch how they play together.

 I finally got Emily to quit taking wood off the wood pile and leaving it around the yard..... One less thing for me to pick up...... but I can't get them all to consistently do the their "pooping"  in the outer limits of the yard and they are still steeling Tom's "trapping poles" to play chase with......  ; {

They have all been treated with "Frontline" for wood ticks........ so the girls are in great shape but the down fall to that is .... they carry them to our bed...... Tom HATES them and to me they are just an annoy-ance but I do have to chuckle..... If I feel one crawling on me at night I just flick it off.  Tom usually finds them on him by morning....... "M O M !!!!!!!! I found your wood tick...... I told you to wake me if you find one in the night".........   "Ummmm.... it wasn't mine.....it was Lilly's"..... "Ya right!"..... "I HATE those things!"

Rat Poison...

The sun shine was blinding coming through the windows......  the birds were singing at the top of their little lungs, and Tom woke up giggling as he playfully greeted the girls.

It's been cold and wet for an eternity and today marked the beginning of warm and dry......

Too wet to mow or paint so the first thing on the agenda was boxes (for trapping)..... Tom would cut his boards and than call me to get him straightened out on how the boards went together and than he would finish them up..........

*Note:  (He has accepted this particular problem and doesn't hesitate to ask for help now )

I was making coffee to bring outside when Tom came running in the house hollering frantically...... M O M !.....Sarah ate rat poison......

The door to the outhouse (storage shed) was left open ☞(me) forgetting we hadn't cleaned that up yet and she found it and ate it.  He seen her in there and called her out.  When she came to him he seen the green on her mouth and knew what it was.

I called the vet and was instructed to take a turkey baster and administer peroxide.  It will make her vomit. Do it till the contents of her stomach is clean.

Sarah was a trooper and is fine.......

Tom?........ he eventually calmed down.........but it took most of the day......... and a lot of reassurance that she was gong to be okay.

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The day Sarah ate the rat poison (May 16 th blog) was a good day gone bad........ Even though Sarah was just fine after the fact....Tom couldn't come out of the spin it put him in.

He was terrified beyond words...... He loves his girls more than his own life.  The words...."she will be fine"...... gave him only a moments peace but not lasting....

He was up and down like a yo-yo... (emotionally).  His energy was going to be fixated on something but I wasn't sure what...... I kept a vigilant eye on him not knowing what he would do.

He ended up going off on how he hates the brush piles out by the county road..... He was going to burn them all.........

I handled "him" the way "I know" will calm him the fastest...... and I was able to keep him to two "small" piles and I was able to get the word out to a forester as to what was taking place.....(just in case)...... who knew Tom.... the area and the brush piles.

He finally calmed.... sitting on a five gallon bucket......watching the "camp fire" burn.

"Let's go home Mom!........ I'm tired."

These brush piles are on the very edge of the woods and some are in the woods.....

If it took off there would be no stopping it.......

There was a burning ban before the rain we just got.  I don't know if it is lifted and it still requires a burning permit and than you usually can't start burning till seven at night.....

So it was a little stressful to say the least........ But all was well .... in our woods.... as the sun went down that evening.......  

Mothers Day

I had a really nice Mothers Day....... Tom woke me up with an excited "Happy Mothers Day Mom...... Your the best Mother in the whole world".........

I chuckled and said  "Thank you" as  I got up to let the girls out and get him a cup of coffee.  It's times like that you really have to laugh to yourself ...... "he's clueless"  He's just so proud that he remembered Mothers Day upon waking....... and I find I cherish those moments knowing one day they will only be a memory.

Later Tom said,  "Mom if I had lots of money I would buy you anything you wanted in the whole wide world."............  "Oh honey..... I already have everything anyone could ever want and that is you and the girls."........... I replied.

Tom's sister and her husband brought us blades for the riding lawn mower so we put them on the old deck and got Tom buzzing around cutting the high spots.  I got my push mower going the day before so I mowed some of the wet spots....

When we were done he took the girls for a run and swim in the river...... then called it  day.......

The grass has been bugging Tom on a daily bases so I'm glad we finally got the worst of it cut. Rain still in our forecast so it will be awhile before we can get it all.

The Moral Mushrooms are out and people are picking like crazy.... Our road is a hot spot for them.... Tom loves them and went out to pick..... He left really excited but  came back with only a hand full and said there not ready yet.........

I heard Tom telling his sister on the phone he is aware he is declining..... after he got off the phone knowing I heard what he said..... he said in a sad voice..... "Mom.... I didn't tell you something."......."what didn't you tell me honey"......... After you helped me that day with the box and after you walked away....... I cried"

I turned around so he couldn't see my face.......
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5/15/10

I guess it's the "little" things that make me stop and realize ........ this is real.... this is really happening.....

When I met Tom... it was the "little" things that meant the most to me ...... and made him different than anyone else.

The "little" things have been hitting me like a rock...... Taking my heart and stomping on it..... I've been talking about the obvious... I've accepted what is and going to be so I can take care of him to the best of my ability.....

but these little things are causing me some pain......

The significance of the Flowers (May 7th blog) he picked and gave to me....... for those who didn't understand.

Tom has become "The Center Of The Universe"....... though Sarah competes for the title also........... lol.  The youngest child in the family and sometimes the first..... adopt this attitude as very young children........

I guess you could say Tom had lot's of practice as he was the Sun,The Moon & The Stars to his Dad.

When I met him I was that to him.....and have been "ALL" of that and more to him...... till this disease took over his brain.

BUT now..... to help those who knew Tom but not "US" ....... this has NOTHING to do with a learned behavior... "he always was"  behavior......

THIS is the disease (Alzheimer's) taking over his brain and it's functions. 

I was making a trip to town.  Tom was still in bed as it was early.  I was waiting for the coffee to finish brewing so I could take a to-go-ey cup with.  I TOLD Tom that is what I waiting for........ he had already reaped the rewards of the first pot and planned on going back to sleep.

"MOM..." he yells from the bed room.  "That's good enough... just pour me a cup out of what's there so you can go"............ "DEAD SILENCE" as I caught my breath...... "MOM?"......... "Okay honey!"...... I brought him coffee and left.

Tom is on his diet kick again...." Burger & Beans & Tomatoes & Hot Chili Peppers"...... (taste?== Alz.)

"Mom you don't have to eat this... You make whatever you want to eat and just don't worry about me"  he tells me...... I said..."No problem....fine with me"  He made a big batch so he could just warm a bowl as he wanted. (I watched  inconspicuously to make sure of what he was putting in it etc......he's not allowed in the kitchen)

Next day I cooked up some grub for me and the girls..... Tom came in from outside.  "Mom?.... what are you cooking?"  .......... Some burger and veggies to put over rice."  I answered thinking he was just curious what was on "my" menu.

He looked confused and asked "what's wrong with the "chili" I made?"......... I'm not eating that .... it's too hot."  I replied.  "No but I planned on eating my chili for super".....   "I know....."  Now I'm confused......... "I'm making this for me and the girls...." I clarify.     "OHHH!" he says sounding relieved.  "I thought you were cooking that for ME."

Just a couple examples of a daily thing........

SO now you see....... the significance of him picking flowers for me.......And what it meant to me?

Tom is not aware of this behavior.... in his mind he loves me as much as the day we met and tells me so all the time... and I know he does and always will...... so he sees nothing has changed....... in his mind.

Trip To Town

I had a full days work ahead of me Wednesday, cleaning up sand...mud...and dog hair from the past week of rain.  The bedding needed changing, the floors needed mopping.....

Tom would be busy making boxes for fall trapping.  One day of warm sunny weather and than back to rain.  The girls could run and chase squirrels and dig holes......

"MOM!".......  "What dear?".......... "I can't figure out how to put this box together.....could you help me?"...... Sure... just a minute... "as I was in the middle of scrubbing the floors.

He had four  boards cut to size and didn't know how to nail them to make the box the right size.  So I held them in place so he could pound in a few nails to hold them in place for him........As I looked on the ground he had one made..... and asked for no help on that one..... Later he said "for the life of me I couldn't figure out how those boards went and I tried and tried....it just didn't make any sense."

The next day was a rainy day so I took him to town for something to do..... we went to Kmart to buy him some tee shirts....... He couldn't find the mens department which has been in the same spot since the place was built....... Once there he found some tee shirts he liked...... I sent him out to the van with the girls as I waited in line......

Tom did rather well with all of that.... stopped at Menards for a piece of dryer pipe and two nuts for the lawn mower....   the nuts that hold the blades got stripped when Tom removed them this last time.....We didn't have the nuts with but he knew the socket size he used to remove them......we bought the nuts he thought would work.....

He decided he wanted to stop at Nappa on the way home and make another attempt at getting the right nuts..... So we did........ We probably shouldn't have though.  I ended up sending Tom out to the van with his two nuts for the lawn mower while I was paying for them and apologizing for Toms behavior and explained he had Alzheimers......... The guy didn't say anything but I seen the muscles in his face relax and it wasn't that deep shade of red that it was ......I took that as a sign that he accepted my apology.

After snow and rain today we are suppose to get a few sunny days ..... I have to say I'm looking forward to that........

Oh Look..... Tom picked me some flowers......

He was so proud when he gave them to me..... "I know you like these" he said as he handed them to me........ "Oh how sweet"............ I guess the shocked look on my face embarrassed him as he blushed.  "I snapped a picture of that moment in my mind."

Still Raining.....

Cold and rainy....... day after day.  I have no complaints as we need the rain.  BUT Tom is finding the rain and cloudy days disheartening.  Okay he is board to near tears. 

He says if he had the lumber he could be making boxes for trapping this fall..... So I had him call around to people he knows with saw mills but they didn't have what he wanted.... So I sent him to the neighbors who has all kinds of wood as he had a saw mill.

For  $20.00 Tom came home with all kinds of lumber. I said "now you have something to do."  He says "not really"........ "WHAT do you mean not really?"  maintaining a calm quiet voice..... NOW he says he needs a dozen #160 traps......

 I said" well can't you just make the boxes for now and worry about the traps latter?"   He didn't know how big they were so he didn't know how big his boxes should be.  "So can't we call someone who sells these traps and ask for the measurements? " "No.... they don't know....... They're 6 inches square." he said matter of fact-ly.  "Why don't you make the boxes to fit 6 inch traps than?"  He let out a big sigh and said "I guess I could measure that other box I have."

And the Dr. asked me at my check up last week "what benefit do you feel you get from the zoloft.... what do you feel it does for you?"  : )

First Rain

Hard to find something to do on a rainy day when you want to be outside..... Tom scouted the TV for a movie to watch and I retired to the kitchen.... I cooked up some barbecued beef and some home made buns.... That brought a smile to his face...

"MOM! ......You've been spoofing me all these years.  I didn't know you could make home made buns!"....... "I didn't spoof you... I just didn't tell you." ....... "Why?" ....... "Because I have to leave some surprises about me so you never get bored with me and want to trade me in for a different model".........."Mom you know that would never happen".......... "Well I don't want to be taking any chances.... "  We both laugh.

"What else don't I know about you that your keeping from me?" he asks truly wondering.  "Guess you'll just have to wait and see......You never know".......I chuckle.  "That's for sure...I never know about you!  Your always surprising me."

This is the first rain of spring..... Last evening we were blessed with our first rainbow.........

 I looked out this morning and it "poofed green" out there..... NOW.... we need the lawn mower.  lol  The dirt in front of the house even sprouted "green" 

I bet you two dollars to a doughnut that the first words out of Toms mouth when he gets up is...... "We need to mow the grass before it's to tall to mow."

OKAY I lost that bet.... that was the second thing he said... The first was...."Are you going to make some more buns today?
 

I see he wrote it on the white board too.......lol