I chuckled and said "Thank you" as I got up to let the girls out and get him a cup of coffee. It's times like that you really have to laugh to yourself ...... "he's clueless" He's just so proud that he remembered Mothers Day upon waking....... and I find I cherish those moments knowing one day they will only be a memory.
Later Tom said, "Mom if I had lots of money I would buy you anything you wanted in the whole wide world."............ "Oh honey..... I already have everything anyone could ever want and that is you and the girls."........... I replied.
Tom's sister and her husband brought us blades for the riding lawn mower so we put them on the old deck and got Tom buzzing around cutting the high spots. I got my push mower going the day before so I mowed some of the wet spots....
When we were done he took the girls for a run and swim in the river...... then called it day.......
The grass has been bugging Tom on a daily bases so I'm glad we finally got the worst of it cut. Rain still in our forecast so it will be awhile before we can get it all.
The Moral Mushrooms are out and people are picking like crazy.... Our road is a hot spot for them.... Tom loves them and went out to pick..... He left really excited but came back with only a hand full and said there not ready yet.........
I heard Tom telling his sister on the phone he is aware he is declining..... after he got off the phone knowing I heard what he said..... he said in a sad voice..... "Mom.... I didn't tell you something."......."what didn't you tell me honey"......... After you helped me that day with the box and after you walked away....... I cried"
I turned around so he couldn't see my face.......
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5/15/10
I guess it's the "little" things that make me stop and realize ........ this is real.... this is really happening.....
When I met Tom... it was the "little" things that meant the most to me ...... and made him different than anyone else.
The "little" things have been hitting me like a rock...... Taking my heart and stomping on it..... I've been talking about the obvious... I've accepted what is and going to be so I can take care of him to the best of my ability.....
but these little things are causing me some pain......
The significance of the Flowers (May 7th blog) he picked and gave to me....... for those who didn't understand.
Tom has become "The Center Of The Universe"....... though Sarah competes for the title also........... lol. The youngest child in the family and sometimes the first..... adopt this attitude as very young children........
I guess you could say Tom had lot's of practice as he was the Sun,The Moon & The Stars to his Dad.
When I met him I was that to him.....and have been "ALL" of that and more to him...... till this disease took over his brain.
BUT now..... to help those who knew Tom but not "US" ....... this has NOTHING to do with a learned behavior... "he always was" behavior......
THIS is the disease (Alzheimer's) taking over his brain and it's functions.
I was making a trip to town. Tom was still in bed as it was early. I was waiting for the coffee to finish brewing so I could take a to-go-ey cup with. I TOLD Tom that is what I waiting for........ he had already reaped the rewards of the first pot and planned on going back to sleep.
"MOM..." he yells from the bed room. "That's good enough... just pour me a cup out of what's there so you can go"............ "DEAD SILENCE" as I caught my breath...... "MOM?"......... "Okay honey!"...... I brought him coffee and left.
Tom is on his diet kick again...." Burger & Beans & Tomatoes & Hot Chili Peppers"...... (taste?== Alz.)
"Mom you don't have to eat this... You make whatever you want to eat and just don't worry about me" he tells me...... I said..."No problem....fine with me" He made a big batch so he could just warm a bowl as he wanted. (I watched inconspicuously to make sure of what he was putting in it etc......he's not allowed in the kitchen)
Next day I cooked up some grub for me and the girls..... Tom came in from outside. "Mom?.... what are you cooking?" .......... Some burger and veggies to put over rice." I answered thinking he was just curious what was on "my" menu.
He looked confused and asked "what's wrong with the "chili" I made?"......... I'm not eating that .... it's too hot." I replied. "No but I planned on eating my chili for super"..... "I know....." Now I'm confused......... "I'm making this for me and the girls...." I clarify. "OHHH!" he says sounding relieved. "I thought you were cooking that for ME."
Just a couple examples of a daily thing........
SO now you see....... the significance of him picking flowers for me.......And what it meant to me?
Tom is not aware of this behavior.... in his mind he loves me as much as the day we met and tells me so all the time... and I know he does and always will...... so he sees nothing has changed....... in his mind.
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