A Day Off......

"Mom.... that was the lonnngest day of my life......I really missed you...... I'm glad your home."

I went blueberry picking for the whole day with my sister, daughter and grand daughter.  Tom insisted I go so he could prove to me there was nothing wrong with him..... and he could spend a whole day home with the girls, with out me and be fine........

It was a beautiful day with a nice wind to keep the bugs off...... with the exception of my daughter sitting in a few ant hills...... lol  I don't remember the last time I had so much fun... just joking, laughing, talking, and spending some quiet time while filling our buckets with berries.......

We had two cell phones with but there was no reception in the area we were in..... "a long way from no-where." 

Nine year old Brit & I picked side by side...... She asked me if I would make some blueberry jelly with her...... I said yes of coarse but you need some berries in your bucket to start with..... She was eating raspberries instead of picking blueberries... just like Tom did.

Everyone Tom "talked" to that day noted that Tom "seemed" to do so well on his own..... BUT they weren't at my house the NEXT DAY........ It wasn't good!
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Since Tom's diagnosis... I have read and researched till I was blue in the face.... I have tried many things suggested on how to deal with this horrible disease..... how to talk with him... how to ignore and walk away.... how to "stop... drop.. and roll" when he explodes and than vanish into thin air till he calms....... through trial and much error I figured out how to "pretty much" handle Tom.

There are no two alike so I had to figure out what works with Tom... and accept what is and let go of what was....... it's been the biggest challenge of my life. 

Now I understand from the outside looking in... it "looks like" I just spoil Tom rotten to the core.... and that there is nothing wrong with him and he is just enjoying his skate like........ and I am just ignorant  and blind to the fact that he just has me fooled........

I have been challenged by outsiders who see nothing wrong... he seems normal to them......

SO THEY..... encourage him to do the very things that I convinced him I LOVE doing  ....... so he need not worry about it but just go enjoy doing what he "feels like" doing.

It's called keeping him SAFE in my book and in others it "looks like" I spoil him.

I DO NOT want him in the kitchen... he leaves burners on... he walks away when cooking food... punches hours on the micro wave instead of minutes or seconds.... he leaves the water running in the sink and walks away when attempting to do dishes......

I don't want an air conditioner because.... he opens all the windows... to let air in when it is 90 above with 100% humidity and sleeps with two heavy blankets when its that warm...... I CAN"T Afford The Electricity To Cool The Outside......

I don't want the wood stove hooked up for obvious SAFTY reasons........ AND you earned the RIGHT to drink if you have been tagged with a disease.... doesn't work with Alzheimer's.... You give him alcohol........ you keep him till he is sober.....

BECAUSE HE CAN RUN heavy equipment doesn't mean he should..... It could turn out bad ...... in fact it just usually does.

Because he knows how to TALK TRAPPING doesn't mean he remembers how.......

IF you are going to encourage him to wonder away from our area than YOU TAKE HIM TRAPPING WITH YOU!

Because one of our girls is a hunting breed...... doesn't mean she has to hunt... maybe she just wants to be Ma Ma's Baby and is afraid of loud noises..... and doesn't want to be the recipient of a very large stick to be taught to OBEY!

My point is... if you don't want him than mind your own business and keep your opinions to yourself if you have NO HANDS ON experience with this disease.  You don't know JACK SHIT about nothing and in the end...... The Girls and I Pay for it........

AND NO he did not do well the day I left him to go berry picking.....MY DAY OFF.....

I did do it knowing there would be repercussions but he wanted so bad to show me he COULD do it.... 

Yes he was okay BUT the STRESS of me being gone and the FEAR of something happening to me showed up the next day.....he went down hill all day and ended in an explosion at the end...... the girls and I had to leave till he calmed down........