Me & Big Red Went Muddin'

So as I take on the last of Tom's jobs and claim them as mine because I have way too much time on my hands.......   At least that is what Tom keeps pointing out to me.

I am learning where the riding lawn tractor can and can not go.....  I made the mistake of thinking I could just mow where I have seen him mow and I KNOW I didn't mow it with my push mower when it was my only lawn job with the weed whacking too of coarse.

I realize now that one must take in the consideration of the amount of rain we have been having along with the ground saturation ratio verses run off.  In short .... stay away from low lying areas as it has been raining more on then off since spring sprung and what we call yard is now runner up for the label swamp.   I think there is a fine line there.

Well I was really getting the hang of it..... avoiding trees..... stumps..... roots sticking out of the ground and pot holes.  I was thinking... hmmm.. I could like this part of the job... kind of relaxing when you hit a spot of open ground with none of the above obstacles.   "*&^$$&*&* what did I just run over?   

Unfortunately the 4-wheeler is not running well.......I have been hoping # 1 SON will soon find it in his "life time" to come fix it.  BUT I did have the phone on me so I ended up calling my 80 year old neighbor to bring his wheeler over to pull me out of "the swamp".........

Fortunately soon after I had the 4 swamp puppys in the house and myself showered and recognizable once again it started to rain...... heavy at times.... all night too... in fact it is still raining this morning...... Old Red should look as good as new with the nice rain bath it is getting.

The GArage Is Done......

Thursday the 23rd of June, Teddy finished the Garage....  He is headed home  for now and hopefully will return to finish out the inside this fall. 

Yesterday Tom spent most of the day sitting in the garage.  When I would check on him... he was just sitting there. He said he'd like to do something but didn't know what.  I told him to just sit there and enjoy his garage and I'll do the rest.  He was content with that.

The next time I checked on him, he was in the same chair with a measuring tape measuring ?   I asked what he was doing and he said  "just figuring something out" ..........  I said "OK" and left hoping I didn't walk through any imaginary wall or trip over some imaginary table or bench....... He didn't yell at me so I must have made a clean exit.

Once again... Thank You to all that helped putting this Garage together.  At least now when he gets up he has a place to go outside that's not too far away and I can keep a close eye on him......

The Building Begins

The garage construction took off nicely.... We (Teddy, Tom and me) had three walls up the first night....

Pretty sore the next day we called in Sandy and her young boys...... We got up the front wall and rafters before we called it a day.......

With the help of the boys the sheeting, wrap and windows went in  before we called it a day......

Boy that don't sound too bad .......The truth is Teddy is only three months into healing a busted up shoulder from a motor cycle accident....  Tom has a bad hip and smashed hand to even hold sheeting.... Sandy weighs about 90 lbs and I am just plain a mess......  Sandy's boys are 14 and 11.  

So I would say  "God had a hand in this"...... I just hope he sends some young, strong, scrappin' guys to sheet and shingle the roof....... The three of us aren't doing too well.

Tom gets off his chair every once in awhile to attempt to try to help but soon returns as his chair to shout out orders to us lowly laborers or is that go-fors?  He says he feels so helpless not being able to get right in there and help build.....

If you read ANY of my past blogs about Tom and building..... Let's just say we are all glad he is not able to physically help us but because you have to love this guy, we all pray it is temporary.
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6-16-11

All winter Tom sat at the table staring out the window at the GARAGE TO BE.  He wondered every day if it would really happen.  ( I have read that negative thoughts "it's not going to happen..... they won't show up... it won't be ready.... why does everything happen to me..... etc ARE par for the coarse of this disease.)

In March Tom called around for estimates for the supplies it would take to build his "dream garage".   He decided on where he would buy his lumber and we went and paid for it in full even though he knew it would a few months before construction could begin.

He kept telling everybody that him and I could build it ourselves.  There was a day when we could have but not now.  His TWIN BROTHER Teddy offered to put it up.  He so generously put his life aside to come put up the garage for Tom.

Our friend and neighbor did the dirt work ...... People who knew and loved Tom could see him slip sliding away and this was a dramatic attempt to get his engine restarted.

Living with Tom I knew it was the disease doing what it does best and there just isn't anyway in hell to stop it. 

As the project got off the ground Teddy and others are seeing that there is NO WAY to cut through the fog and destruction this horrific disease has caused in his brain.  It isn't depression, it isn't boredom, it isn't lack of resources...... it is the disease.

It's called apathy

noun

 indifference, lack of interest, lack of enthusiasm, lack of concern, unconcern, uninterestedness, unresponsiveness, impassivity, dispassion, lethargy, languor, ennui; rare acedia.

That is just one part of his brain that has deteriorated to the point of no return.

I see and feel the pain others are feeling as they see his obvious losses.  I put it in the same place I put all my pain from the losses I have experienced through all this.  One day a time will come and I will be able to mourn freely of the love (TOM) I had and lost.  I know and trust that God will see me through the after as he is seeing me through the now of one of the most horrific diseases that exist.

Today I rarely see the love I once seen in his eyes for me..... now I see a dead stare as he has been watching me.... It gives you a creepy eerie feeling as the eyes that are watching your every move are cold and dark.  "Why are you staring at me?"  I'll ask.  He looks away but does not answer.  Soon I notice he is doing it again.

Last night was a heart breaking realization to me as it was the 7th and final game for the Stanley Cup....... I pay for the biggest pkg. of Dish Network so Tom can get hockey games and I payed extra for the NHL channel......the last thing he still held an interest in......

Last night he lay on the bed to watch the game and every time I went to check on him he was sleeping?

Hopeless and Helpless is what I feel today.... an over all sadness as I watch his brother put shingles on the roof of the garage he is building for his brother...... his excitement and enthusiasm is gone.

I'm sure he is asking himself why is he doing this.... Tom won't be out here anyway......

The Slab Is Done......

The "GARAGE" is moving right along ...... I'd like to say smoothly but with Tom trying to be the pit boss he is making it go more like bumpy.

He ordered the rafters to be delivered BEFORE the dirt work was done and the slab poured.... SO the BIG TRUCKS had to maneuver  in a small area to get turned around........ He was probably just testing their abilities to do so.  

He did plant himself ON the rafters so it gave them a little more reason to not back over them or come to think of it ........ more challenging to NOT run over them.... J/K

The slab was poured and is looking good.   

Tom ordered ALL the stuff for the garage to be delivered except the insulation and sheet rock......  Sure hope the rain doesn't cause too much damage before we start to build.....

It's probably a good thing that his back slows him down and his hand is out of commission for awhile......  I'm thinking nobody would be safe with a nail gun in his hands......

Starting The Garage

June already.... The dirt work for the garage started yesterday.  Twin Brother Teddy with gimpy arm (motor cycle accident) is here to put it up.  We already had one accident which left Tom with a bum hand so now he won't be much help..... darn it.

We have been waiting forever for the road limits to go off our county road.  That was Wednesday the 1st...... So Dick brought out his dozer to do the dirt work.   Well than rain and other business had Dick busy...

Tom thought he'd get a head start anyway I guess so...... He got up early the next morning.... slipped right into the shower and was dressed in a blink of an eye.
Hmmmm? I wondered ....... what is he doing?  It wasn't long before the pieces fell together. 

It was raining and wet out but Tom didn't seem to notice.... "I thought I'd go get started on the dirt work."   he said.   "OH GOOD IDEA!"  I said with much enthusiasm in my voice knowing the key wasn't there. 

So out the door he went..... skipping all the way to the dozer..... Well in his heart he was skipping but I guess to watch him it was more of a fast hobble.  He looked high and low for the key..... 

than slowly made his way back to the house dragging his chin.   No key... no dozing.... he spent the rest of the day staring out the window.

Tom would call Dick everyday to see if today was the day....... Well yesterday when Tom called Dick to see if  "today was the day" even though Dick said the night before that it was...... Dick said he was out of town at Sams Club......  "OH BOY"  That didn't sit well with Tom.   Than Dick said...."Just Kidding"

When Dick & Pat showed up .... each with a load of dirt..... it finally seemed real.  I said to Dick..... "I bet you'll be glad to get Tom off your back!"  Dick started laughing and express the irritation that was building as he said in 3 days Tom had called 9 times to see if today was the day ...... This is while Dick & Pat were working 12-13 hour days.

Dirt was moved.... gravel hauled in.... leveled and tamped.......Today the concrete guys will form up the slab and if all goes right the slab will be poured on Monday.