Welcome December

Welcome December......

There is an almost normal feeling around here lately..... Things are calm, Tom is inter acting..... with people, the dogs and me.

It's been nice. Sandy & I baked Christmas cookies together as Tom sat and watched us all day... actually enjoying it. I can't remember back when our world was always like that.

I pray we stay in this place for awhile.... I was getting a little burned out emotionally.
God knows!

So I am praying for an "old fashion family Christmas" this year.... I miss that......
Singing, giving, helping, sharing....... and FAMILY!

I found my JOY which had been misplaced and am hoping to share it with those that I love.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.......God's Blessings
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The 17th of November I communicated with Tom's Doctors that Tom wanted and NEEDED something but he did not want to take anything he has taken before.

He had become someone I did not want to care for any more... someone I didn't know... mean and belligerent.

After going over what meds Tom had been on an the result of each and what he was like now.... We all came to an agreement to try "celexa"

After a month Tom has transformed back into someone I knew once..... He is once again engaging in life and his disposition is what it once was so long ago.

He still has the deficits that dementia has taken but just to have my "sunshine

" back is the Greatest Christmas present the girls and I could ever hope for.

We call it Our Christmas Miracle.....

Deer Season

Deer season began this past Saturday..... Teddy bought Tommy a license even though Tommy didn't want to shoot a deer.  At least Teddy could take Tommy out road hunting legally even if a shot is never fired.

Well it has been a heart breaking season none the less.....We know any tame deer is fair game during this time.... BUT our doe and fawns should be okay as the field next to us would not be hunted the first week... She is a smart doe and when the gun fire begins she would go into defense mode and stay with in the safe realm of our woods and the neighbors who also hunt else where.

At sun rise there were 3 loud close shots....... our neighbor confirmed some un-invited people shot our doe and wounded a fawn..... Tom had strong words with them and told them to leave......

Needless to say the last little fawn is scared and confused which is driving Tom NUTZ. 

These two men knew the uncle of the people who own this land and needless to say they are all from else where.  The land is posted but decided it didn't pertain to them.......   When they were told the deer were tame they got MOUTHY.... 

This all just reminds me why I like the serenity of the woods but this is where the saying "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN NOT HIDE" ......... comes into play.

This is her posing for a picture..... I am as close as this looks.....

Turbulance

We have been experiencing some turbulence in our neck of the woods.  It went from nasty weather to the water pump going out in the van with no means to get it fixed, to Gram going into the hospital with chest pain ending up in Duluth by ambulance to find they needed to extract her gall bladder to a mystery infection attacking her body and a mysterious painful, red, swelling of her feet that looked mean and nasty.

This all had a bad effect on Tom which is par for the coarse when some one has dementia.  He wasn't feeling all that safe, secure, warm and fuzzy with all the stressful vibes floating in the air.  The reaction to all this is acting out in a not so nice verbal, temper tantrum throwing, pouting, bad boy way.

Me....?  I so see the scared but naughty "boy" lashing out the only way he knows how to express his fears... a feeling he doesn't understand.
 So I do what you would if it was your child... love him, ignore what you can and reassure him everything is going to be alright.

But until life gets back to "our" norm he will be like a bouncing ball. Lucky for me I have always ducked when a ball was coming my direction so I have that natural instinct and with my cat like reflexes I do well lol

I'll be back when things settle down some but I thought I would update as to where we have been.

BUSTED!!!

Right now I'm a bit UPSET with Tommy Boy!  He always has trapping on his mind....
when the weather is warm I should say.... cold and rain will keep him inside.

He can't set a beaver trap BUT he CAN trap Martin & Fisher.... which the season will soon be upon us.
Every year he wants to set a trap behind our house... every year I tell him no... the girls!
Every year he says they will have to stay in the yard.  Every year I tell him NOT POSSIBLE!!!

Every year he has to set bait out and see if there is any activity... Every year the girls get in it...
I tell him to clean up the site and go test or trap somewhere else.  AND he usually does.....
or NOT if the weather turns crappy by the time the season opens.

Well yesterday this all took place as a seasonal thing...... BUT the results were a little different.

This morning I let the girls out as usual.... I lay on the couch in front of the window as I fully wake up..... The window was open by my face and I was enjoying the fresh fall air that came through......

THAN it changed... the smell in the air!!!  S K U N K!!!!!!  I flew off the couch adrenalin pumping and wide awake now!  I yelled for the girls.  SARAH, LILLY, EMILY!!!!!!!  They all slowly, sheepishly, guilty.... slink-ed toward the house...... Heads down, tails down and ears back..... single file...... "BUSTED"
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Tom's stress test came out fine... no sign of every having a heart attack, blood flow was normal .... no blockage or anything......

We cancelled the sleep apnea test as Tom has been loosing weight and so he has been breathing better at night.

Tom went on a diet after his hospital stay... He said he had to take off all the weight he gained that the pills put on him.... So he quit eating a bag of chips a day, bread with a pound of butter per slice, helpings of food that would feed two people well, candy bars and chocolate assortments of all kinds,...........

In one month he has lost 15 lbs (he says 30 -50... depends on who he told)..... now exercise is NOT required for this diet.  Tom calls it a starvation diet....... NO BODY else could ever do what he is doing... it is brutal!!!!!!

Tom seems so happy inside that he radiates happiness as he has declared himself fit as a fiddle and cured of his dementia.....

He speaks of all the energy he has now... as he sits on the phone or staring out the window talking about all he is going to do that day or already did from his chair at the kitchen table.......?

The weather has been more than great this past month... 70's - 80........ ONE out of four days he might leave the house to go bird hunting on his 4 wheeler....... as he tells every one he goes every day all day long...... AND oh my goodness the birds he has gotten.....

BUT he is happy inside and that's all that counts... he knows his stories are stories but it makes him and convinces himself... he IS OK....

Unfortunately he didn't get back what the disease already claimed and one of them being his filter for inappropriate language..... He over reacts to what he perceives was said and reacts with the foulest mouth I have ever heard in my entire 57 years on this earth....... with pure HATE in his voice... (if the devil had a voice... ummmm ☞ "TOM" )

AND he shares his miss - guided opinions with all who will listen and attack anyone he believes has wronged him in any way......

BUT he is happy and is cured so it's OK... he has always been like that?????

Beautiful Weather - Fun Days

God has blessed us with some wonder fall weather and color..... I convinced Tom to take me on the trails bird hunting...  Gosh... it was like the "good old days"..... I even jumped off and chased down a run away bird through the woods.... It brought back to him the warm fuzzy feelings he had for me so many years ago......

I wasn't MOM the caregiver but the vibrant fun loving silly girl he met so many years ago........ Gosh... we went for miles on these trails.... this is the first year in a while that it has been dry enough to travel this far.....





 
We came upon some unknown trails.... when we seen "private property signs" we would turn around.... well as we were exploring new trails there suddenly appeared a "ghost" like figure of a woman on the trail.... Scared the begeezes out of both of us....

She was dressed all in black silk like clothing.... slipper like shoes...snow white hair pulled back.... very white skin and red lipstick........ she was just standing there.

We stopped and were relieved to see it was a real person.... we apparently wandered onto private property..... she said she was out walking her trails but the woman was out of breath..... ? We apologized and moved on......

Took us a while to recover from that... Oh what an eerie  feeling.......!!!

Tom has been losing some much needed  weight.  His method is madness..... He barely eats.... He put it on by over - eating and now losing it by not - eating.  NOT HEALTHY I know but there is no reasoning with him.

Yesterday we finally cut up and removed the trees that fell in the yard a long while ago....... Everyday was the day..... so I wasn't sure if it was going to happen that day or if TOMORROW would be a better day.

Tom got up around 9 AM as he has been doing for a month now..... He sat at his spot at the table ... drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, takes his pills..... makes phone calls to see what everybody is doing.......stares out the window..... nodding off ......TODAY IS THE DAY!!! he says.

I'm ready... dressed, cleaned up the house, picked up sticks in the yard... kept coming in to see if Tom would soon be out.... NOPE!!! still sitting there........

I went out and started working on the insulation in the garage.... soon he calls me in for a cup of coffee....... he is slowly putting on cloths... he has a tee shirt on now and socks.

It's around noon now.... I'm trying not to get pissy  but I can't stand wasting all this time.....  Tom is still declaring he is going to cut up those trees.

"I don't know how I should do it" he says.  "Chunk them up and I'll stack it for outside fires or cut longer lengths and I'll pull then into the woods with the 4-wheeler" is what I suggested.

 It was just days before he was telling me he was going to have a big old fire and burn them all up.....For #1... there are burning restrictions on..... and #2... he has told me over and over since we have lived here and even recently.... "they won't burn"

For heavens sake...HE IS A LOGGER... CUT THE DAMM TREES UP AND I WILL DEAL WITH THE REST!!!!!  Ummmmm I said that under my breath.

OH MY... it was after 12 noon and he finally put his jeans on and I helped him with his boots.  We were going to do it!!!!! My heart is pounding.. it's going to happen....

I go outside and wait for him... and wait.. and wait....

FINALLY he came out..... we headed over to the trees... he is just kinda looking the situation over?   "Tom... cut off a chunk and I'll drag it in the woods."  He did and I did..... It wasn't long and we had all the trees gone from the yard.....

We went in and "had coffee" ...... I convinced him to cut up a cedar that had fallen over one of my trails in the woods....... I could see he about had it with the activity all in one day BUT I PUSHED IT...... "ahhh one more little tree honey?"  Well that was way over the top ..... as he cut this little poplar for me he started sucking all the fun out of our day.  "Now my new chain is dull..... blah blah blah blah..... He went to the house and I went to the garage......

Soon I hear... I made fresh coffee..... I went in just to make sure he had survived all that activity.... He was back in his chair at the kitchen table and that is where he stayed planted for the remainder of the day...... smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee and calling people to see what they are doing.......

STRESS Test.....

Tom had his stress test...... which so far they said his heart looked good.  I haven't heard the full report yet.

We were not expecting it to be such a long drawn out ordeal BUT on the other hand.... Tom said he wouldn't have gone if he had known that......

I'm sure some found him entertaining as he would nod off and start his hand movements..... the one where he "mimes" smoking a cigarette is kinda obvious.   Other times when he would reach his hand out I would take it and hold it like that was his intentions.... I don't think we fooled anybody....

While it took Tom a little longer to come out of the "drug induced" part the Dr. rambled about sleep apnea....... Tom puts his own little twist on the story but in a positive way and has agreed to go to his testing.... yippee!!!! I am so excited about that little adventure.  Hope they give me a bed.... I don't do well in those really big comfortable looking recliners covered in vynal...... I have a tendency to slide out the bottom?

Tom actually THANKED everyone with sincerity when we left..... so I decided to take that guy home with me as I haven't seen him around in a long time..... kinda missing him........BUT once the van was in motion and we were headed home I soon realized "AL" ( Mr. Alzheimer) was messing with me....... and Tom was gone.

Since Tom's hospital stay he has lost 18 lbs, goes for walks everyday, cut up the trees that are down in our yard, worked on the garage..... went bird hunting.....
all from his kitchen chair.  He's an amazing man...... wished I could do that!