"REALITY"

" REALITY " That word brings a smile to my face. I'll tell you why.

I bought Tom a new pair of suspenders as his are going to heck. When I gave them to him he said "these are for you." He put them on me and adjusted them and proudly said "there, your like me" I wore them that day and than ditched them.

Well I told my #3 daughter about it as I thought she'd laugh with me. I don't particularly like wearing my pants pulled up north. She became upset. I mean UPSET. She is seeing Tom's reality changing and fears for me not being able to separate the real world from his. And she's upset about the isolation that is starting to take place because of this disease. And she is scared, as she sees someone she loves, change into someone she doesn't know. And she's afraid for her MOM's safety as Tom looses touch with reality...............

My #2 daughter who also loves Tom to death, is afraid that I'm making our life look like all "fun and games" and NOT telling about the reality of it. She respects my choices, keeps check on "my sense of reality" and helps out more than she should have too, as she works a full time job and is raising two boys. Well she and her two boys, unfortunately witnessed a rage. It traumatized the boys, as that wasn't the Grampa they knew.

I might add at this point that my #1 daughter who lives a distance away, also participates in help and support. I could not do this on my own. Beyond my four children and their significant others,we also have other family members doing what they can to help. I can't thank everyone enough for all that they do. This disease effects everyone of them in a very direct way. Alzheimer's shows no mercy. When Tom asks "How are we making it?" I smile and say "We have angels around us"

I might also add since I'm speaking out so bluntly. EOAD effects millions of people. I didn't even know young people got it till Tom was diagnosed. I could not believe my ears. I had to research and educate myself on this disease. Out of three different specialists and one GP.....One of them, told us the diagnosis and sent us home. WHAT THE HECK? Well I found I wasn't alone. This is the norm with millions of people. Thank God for the internet where people have been able to come together and help each other deal with this devastating disease.

Basically as far as resources for help, this is IT. You can get SSD. Your significant other or someone who loves you enough to give up a paying job to live with you, care for you, live in your reality with you, deal with the dark side of Alz. and eventually live an isolated life with you (with no gov. funding for the caregiver) till you reach a point where physical care is more than the caregiver can physically handle, than nursing home placement is available, but they don't accept patients that show aggressive behavior. Or if you are able to keep them home at that point medicare pays for some in home help with that and hospice help for the end. And they pay for re-sprite. Good Luck with that. So as I step off my soap box....

Welcome to "OUR WORLD" where "Alz-heimers" lives ....................

I have nothing but respect for the person Tom use to be. He still is that person and always will be even though Alz. slowly reverts him back from where he originated. As a baby feels love and security from their mother so does the alz. patient. So one day he may not recognize me as his wife, the love of his life or his shadow stepping on his heals.....He'll still know ME . " I will love him always and forever"

I choose to write about the positive endings of our days because that is what Tom and I share with each other at the end of the day. He asks how he was and I tell him great. Sometimes he knows he wasn't great and feels bad. But what he doesn't know, I don't tell him. I have CHOSEN to live in HIS reality as that's the only world he knows because of this disease. By me living in HIS WORLD, he feels normal on a regular basis therefore doesn't have to think about the disease and how it's affecting him or us and as a result we can keep on loving and living and in the woods, our animal friends don't care.