Introduction To My Blog (10/5/2013)

INTRODUCTION

Meeting Tom was not by chance.  There was a higher power at work.  As God can see our future he knew what he was doing and in hind sight well planned out.  Twenty two years ago I was on my knees in prayer asking God for help and today I go on bended knee thanking the Lord for every minute of everyday I shared with the man he put in my life.

We lived in Colorado for ten years.  By 2002 Tom had developed some major personality changes that became concerning to me.  So out of character for him.  

We had bought some land back home in Minnesota,  sight unseen.  We had a shell of a house built while still in Colorado.  We were going home on vacation in October to our "cabin in the woods".  We stayed.  We made a trip back to Colorado to gather our belongings, said good bye to friends and made our last trek home.

Between 2002 and 2006 we cleared land, finished the inside of our home, fished, hunted, trapped..... but Tom wouldn't get a job ( he was a work alcoholic ) He quit doing house work ( he was a fanatic about cleaning ) he was getting confused when cooking ( he was a great cook )  He worked in the woods logging one winter ( was fired because he was disgruntle ) I worked at a resort (he kept calling for me to come home ) The last straw?  I asked him to check the antifreeze in the car.  He had no clue how to do it.

An MRI of the brain showed significant shrinkage in the frontal lobe.  But I had no idea what all this meant.  Tom was 50 years old.  I just knew he couldn't work and didn't want me away from him.

I called Social Security Disability.  I did the telephone interview after an attempt with Tom who didn't understand the simple questions being asked.  That was  followed a month later by a three hour testing by a psychiatrist employed by them.  Within three months Tom was on SSD with the diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer.  I said WHAT?

We filed bankruptcy, our children secured our home which was foreclosed on, so we could stay there, in "our little cabin in the woods." and our journey began.

Thank God for the internet,  It opened the door to all kinds of information on this disease.  I read and researched all I could find. I tried different techniques of handling situations but nothing worked.  Taking control was NOT happening.... denial big time that he had this disease,  All I can say is OH BOY!  

I turned to God.... instead of trying to control Tom and the disease that  dwelled within him, I put myself in Tom's place.  I joined him in his world.  I simplified and de-cluttered our space.  I freed him of the guilt he felt over not wanting to do anything, leaving everything up to me.  I convinced him that I wanted to be with him all the time too because I worried about him being alone. Tom was always right, I never argued, let go of the little things and understood quickly that his ability to reason was broke.  Over time I was able to make him understand that the disease is making him that way and in my eyes he will always be my knight in shining armor.

We still had a life to live. Together.  Just different than what we had thought earlier in our relationship.  By us both accepting what is,  we lived, we loved, we laughed, we cried.... and didn't look at the things we couldn't do but all that we still could.

Hence... we began "our life in the woods."

Tree Fort or Deer Stand?  (9/8/08)

Tom and I are always doing something. Our latest project was this deer stand out of logs. We cut the trees on our property, peeled them and put them up. It's 6x6 inside, sealed with spray foam between the logs. It now has a roof and sliding windows. The stairs and little deck was added after Tom decided he just plain like spending time out there. We run electricity to it for lights and heat.

OKAY...... the deer stand is in our yard, not far from the house. We haven't hunted here in the past as I always named the deer that came in. But this year I have refrained from getting attached to them as we decided it was best to just stay here and hunt. In the past we have stayed with Kel and Jason ( daughter & husband) and hunted with them. But with Lilly joining our family, it would be too imposing on them.

I was asked why not just shoot a deer from the house. But #1. it's just not sportsman like. And #2. If he did shoot a big buck you don't want to say I shot it from my house. You want to tell how you got up before dawn and walked to the deer stand............