Heartbreaking

The house was silent except for the hockey game playing on the bedroom TV with it's volume turned down lower than usual.  It was early and Tom lay in bed not making a sound.

The lights were turned down low in the rest of the house.  I sat in a chair by a light,  fiddling with a cross word on my lap.  The girls were all laying quietly at my feet.  There was a strong sense of loss in the house.

Did somebody die?  In a sense that's what it felt like............

It was a nice day....... We were going to see 30 degrees above .  The plan was for all of us to go for a long walk in the woods, even Sarah. 

Tom took Emily and Lilly for a run so there energy level would be more like the rest of us.  Makes them easier to control when we're  a group.  I picked up the house and was waiting for a turkey to be done that I had put in earlier.

When Tom got back the rest of us were ready and excited to go.  Than the phone rang.  It was the telephone people who were working on our line on our county road.  I had an order in for DSL and asked if they could drop by and hook it up beings they were down here.

They spent most of the day trying to get it for me but it turns out I'm just out of reach with the equipment they have.  I said "that's okay.   If it were a choice of living too far out and having DSL, I'll take where I live."

While the guys were working on the lines, TOM was out and about, bugging them, seeing what they were doing....in and out, up and down the road.  I swear he had ants in his pants. LOL

At one point I was talking to my sister on the phone and the next thing we knew Tom had joined us.  He was with the telephone guys and they let him cut in.  I haven't heard Tom laugh that hard in a long time.

Myself??? It was creepy.  I already am consumed by his ever demanding presence and this kinda left me with a haunting feeling.  He's even "in" the phone.  I laughed.

THAN that evening.....Tom was laying across the bed watching hockey, while I was channel surfing in the other room.  The girls were tearing around, chasing and playing.  The usual animal house at night.  Bugging me and Tom to play with them, which we do.

The phone rang.  Tom always has the main phone so I don't have to tell him who it is while I'm saying hello and trying to tell him what they want while they are talking to me, while we are in different rooms in the house.

He hollers "It's the telephone company."  I answer..."I'll get it"  I had to go get the second phone from the other room.  Third ring and I was about to answer the phone when he answered his.

Panic stricken he yells for me to come in the bedroom.  It NEVER dawns on him  that he is able to get up and come to me.  As I came to the door he looked scared to death.  "It's a recording.  They want you to press one."  He hands me the phone.  "Do something!"  he yells frantically.

I'm try to figure out what is going on, why he is panicked, and nothing on the phone can be that big of deal.  So I pushed one as he is yelling..."push two to talk to somebody", he says...... "Geeze do something."  I listen to hear that I just agreed for them to come tomorrow to put in my DSL......

That is what he panicked over?????

I said "Tom it's no big deal"  you were there today.  You know what all took place.  You could have pushed the correct button as you listened to the message...........

The look in his eyes broke my heart.  He looked scared, confused and like I had failed him.......The one who knows, understands and protects him.... let him down in a moment in which he was lost in his mind. 

He went silent as did the rest of the house........