PROJECT: Window Box

We ran out of paint to finish the last wall and can't get more till Friday...... the lawn mower is still waiting for a deck and the grass seed is still waiting for rain....... So I said let's make a window box.

This is while he was having his coffee in bed thinking about what to do today........ When I mentioned I was going to make a window box and he could help if he wanted he got excited..... "that sounds like fun Mom!" 

Now how complicated could that be?  Seemed safe enough....... We could use boards off our used wood pile.... we are down to just pieces but how fun to dig and see what you can make out of what is there.

I had the front board... it's a cedar board he got from the neighbors....... and this box was only going to be 4 foot long.

Well let me tell you........ ya would have thought we were building a house.......from scratch....starting with cutting down trees......

He was all mixed up.....he had "NO CLUE" but said it was me making him mad telling him what to do......"you always have to start!"...... that's his favorite line when HE IS MESSED UP and blames it on me......... I chuckle because many a time I haven't said a word........

"TOM! ..... it's a box.......it's no big deal......chill out......let's just focus on ONE BOARD at a time."   He got a little better and I was so glad when it was done......

I painted it and we hung it.... and he loves it.... and so do I.

 Will I suggest another project?  YEP!  He needs something to do that he can see results and feel good about.  His attitude, confusion, swearing, name calling and getting mad are just part of the disease and frustration from not being able to make sense of things, which makes it worse but it's there, no matter what and he NEEDS to feel productive and important.....     "I like doing things where I can see result."  is what he always tells me.

I could easily do any of the projects we have been doing by myself..... I asked his help to involve him and pretend it's too hard for me by myself.  He is so proud when we are done and I always tell him "good job Tom.. you had a little trouble but not bad".... Thanks Mom" ......he'll answer proudly.
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4/30/10

We have been doing the de-acf coffee now consistently.... and his medications have been taken at consistent times also and I see a calmness.......I asked if he has been feeling calmer in general lately and he said "yes and I've been feeling good too"....... he added.  "Not so tired".......

He seems to be sleeping better at night and really well when he goes back to sleep in the morning for two hours.... he says that's his best........

He still flies off the handle easily but most of the time I can see a trigger which usually has to do with frustration due to his brain not working well for him.  Or if I forget and interrupt his train of thought........ and of coarse if he thinks I'm telling him what he can or cannot do....... that goes with the no word..... all of which we try to remember not to say.

I think Tom is trying to adjust to "new loss" that he seems to be aware of.... he is fighting tooth and nail to hang on, which is good...... that's why he got so mad at me over a simple box.... he knew it should be simple but he couldn't figure it out.

We have some much needed rainy days ahead of us so I need to think of something to occupy him ........ yesterday was the first of the gloomy rainy days and he went into a slump and crabbed at me all day.

He says he's bored.... he doesn't love TV...... I don't know....... any ideas?