The weather has been ........ let's use the word "CRAP-Y" since I last posted.... I've been "expecting" things to take a down hill slide..... I shouldn't use the word expect as with Alzheimer's...you just stay "on guard"..... but weather has always brought the UGLY-S out in the past so I've been Waiting?....... Expecting?....... On Guard?........ At the same time PRAYING........
I haven't been well for awhile now.... I know..... "You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of him...... easier said than done. Basically I have a chronic sinus infection and all the woes that go with it; which I have had since August 2008..... I think I'll use the word SUCK-Y to describe how it's been.. I've seen Dr.s 7 times during this period.... I'll be having a CT scan now followed by an ENT Dr. We'll see how that goes?
BAD WEATHER, OBSESSIONS, ME SICK......... all trigger bad behavior on Tom's part.... It didn't this time...INSTEAD so far (he's asleep right now) he has been talking about how blessed and grateful he is for GOD, friends, family and me....... This is more like the "Ol' Tom" : )
He has been reminiscing about all the things we have done together, the memories we have created are never ending.... and when he forgets, I tell him the stories and he loves to listen to them.... because even if he doesn't remember the details the stories bring back the FEELINGS he had at the time..... He's been even waking me during the night to tell me how much he loves me and that he's laying there thinking about us and the life we have shared........
When Tom woke at 7AM he said he had finally fell asleep around 4:30 Am..... And that he will be going back to sleep after he's had a cup of coffee in bed. While we were having our coffee he said it was a long night.... He thought about us..... and how blessed he was... and that he was aware that he has been having good days lately and was happy about that and thanked God..... He said he doesn't like it either when he has bad days as he is aware but can not control it..... I said yah "I don't like it either and neither do the girls"... He said "I know... I'm sorry. I thank God everyday for you and sometimes all night long"........... I said " is that when I feel you groping my face?" He laughed and said " I have to make sure you are there!" We both laughed and I said "it's okay... I think it's kinda funny"
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Added Later today........
Definition of good day ..... These days that mostly just refers to his mood and how he is handling everyday life.... Today was the BEST as we laughed about nothing till we had tears in our eyes and couldn't breath..... we use to do that a lot..... as far as his other losses... Good day today means he isn't aware of all his losses....bad day is when he catches himself and realizes..... That makes him sad.
I wished it was just a memory disease... It would be so much easier to deal with and accept....... ❤ I Miss You Tom ❤
❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥Someone Asked Why?❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥
Super women took a nose dive into the ground. She hit with such force she was buried for weeks. A heavy equipment operator was called in by God. He dug till he found her. She was still breathing but emotionally frail.
He took one look at her and he felt something he has never felt before. So when God said take care of her and love her......he did. He tried to walk away but couldn't....God filled him with an abundance of all the qualities he already possessed and said use these now to help her grow to her full potential as one day you will need what she has to give......
So he put her on a pedestal and kept her dusted and polished for years. Everyday he would polish and shine her and gave her everything he had inside as God instructed.
As the years slowly passed........and she shined like the brightest star in the sky......(He did an awesome job).....but now he was slowly losing himself.
She asked God with tears in her eyes " where is he going?" God said "he is going back to where he first came. It's a long hard journey and he needs you to help him get there safely."
I will give you an abundance of all you need to help him on his journey back to me, for that is where he came from.
So to those who ask why? Because I believe in fairy tales...He is my knight in shining armor...... He literally guarded me with his life.....
❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥
Super women took a nose dive into the ground. She hit with such force she was buried for weeks. A heavy equipment operator was called in by God. He dug till he found her. She was still breathing but emotionally frail.
He took one look at her and he felt something he has never felt before. So when God said take care of her and love her......he did. He tried to walk away but couldn't....God filled him with an abundance of all the qualities he already possessed and said use these now to help her grow to her full potential as one day you will need what she has to give......
So he put her on a pedestal and kept her dusted and polished for years. Everyday he would polish and shine her and gave her everything he had inside as God instructed.
As the years slowly passed........and she shined like the brightest star in the sky......(He did an awesome job).....but now he was slowly losing himself.
She asked God with tears in her eyes " where is he going?" God said "he is going back to where he first came. It's a long hard journey and he needs you to help him get there safely."
I will give you an abundance of all you need to help him on his journey back to me, for that is where he came from.
So to those who ask why? Because I believe in fairy tales...He is my knight in shining armor...... He literally guarded me with his life.....
❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥
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Oh Mom...that makes me sad!! Stay on top of your sinus thing!! I know Sanj is helping...good!! Got to be your own advocate...and "demand" what you want!!
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