A Great Thanksgiving Day!

We had a nice Turkey Day.... I cooked Tom's favorites but limited the variety of dishes......  he doesn't like a lot of choices these days.... it just messes him up.

We had another big dumping of snow the night before so Tom once again was stressing over the plowing.... I said once again... "leave it... I'm sure Dick will come plow us out."    and he did.

I got the old Turkey in the oven and headed out to snow blow...... It had to be right around a foot of new snow..... took me most of the day with a break around 1:00 to eat.....  Tom was content to stay in and watch foot ball at that point.

Tom's twin brother Teddy stopped by in the early evening to say his good-byes as he was heading back to warmer temps.....

This doesn't sound like a very exciting day BUT believe me.... It was a "GREAT DAY!"

My Blessing are many......... I come to God with a humble heart and on bended knee Give Thanks!

It's Snowing!

Oh my... someone forgot to close the snow gates! 

IF you did not have to be on the roads and you were like us out in the woods with nowhere to go... nobody to see.... just us and the girls and the forest critters....... THEN  it was a beautiful, glorious, breath taking day....

Tom wasn't real impressed as he was worrying about how we were going to plow all the snow with a 4-wheeler that is in need of repairs.  I said.. "enjoy it (the snow)... God will take care of it"....... and "wa-la"  a friend with a plow on his pickup truck stopped in for coffee.  Of coarse I asked if he'd mind and he said not a bit....

So Tom hopped in the truck with his friend and they plowed..... even if the 4-wheeler was in a one shape...we had too much heavy snow for it to push.... we needed the Big Boy.

Of coarse I couldn't wait to get out and make trails all over the yard for the girls with the snow blower....I extended them this year as I enjoy going for walks with them on these trails too.  That's what I do for exercise in the winter when I need to be SEEN from the house..... "it works"

"HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"

"It finally feels like the Holidays"..... these words broke the silence in the room.  Tom had been sitting at the kitchen table for hours, staring out the window, legs crossed below the knee as one foot lays across the calf of the other leg and shakes it in a quick back and forth motion,  like he's nervous or edgy...... yet his face is blank and relaxed.

The stress of deer hunting is over and it finally is snowing......jerky is drying in the dehydrator and "noodle soup" is simmering on the stove.  I'm sewing "microwave heat bags"  for the grand-kids to warm there little bodies when they come in out of the cold.

The "Holidays" in the past has brought on anxiety  but he appears to be okay so far.  I think he has grown accepting of the fact that there are no expectations on our part to participate in all the activities as our families all gather to celebrate together.

We have a turkey and all the fixings for a Thanksgiving meal for the two of us and our girls (dogs)........ there will be football to watch on TV which is one of the few things he still can follow and enjoy.

I think about all the "Holidays Past" that I took for granted,  that they would always be...... family, children, games and laughter....... I miss that so much as family is what I am all about.

So on bended knee I thank the Lord for what I had and for the wonderful memories that many never experience and pray for a light heart to make this "Holiday Season" another one to REMEMBER....... in my heart of  "HAPPY MEMORIES PAST".......

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for help that I might do greater things;


I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
 

I asked for riches that I might be happy;


I was given poverty that I might be wise.
 

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;


I was given weakness that I might feel the need for God.
 

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;


I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
 

I got nothing that I asked for,
but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself,
my unspoken prayers were answered;


I among women am most richly blessed.
~ author unknown ~

MOM... I Had Enough!

We got our first snow Saturday night.... nothing compared to southern Minnesota but we have snow none the less...... it gives the woods a whole new look and feeling.... a feeling of calm, tranquility, peace..........

We are in need of quiet, down time.... Tom had a melt down from the disruption in his "boring" life....... our dear neighbor was here when he blew his top..... I'm glad for that as he was able to take the edge off as I was the target....... his Dad died from the disease..... he handled the situation well...... Thanks Dick!

It's hard for someone who doesn't live daily with this disease to understand... stimulation is bad...... (for TOM)  every single person with this disease is DIFFERENT. 

Tom makes comments about others who seem to give up on life... "boy if I were so & so I'd make myself get up and at least go for a walk or something"....... He still makes those comments NOT seeing himself the same as the one's he talks about.

It's sad but it is what it is... it's NOT going to go away, it is going to progress, it is a fatal disease, it is a slow disease,  there are meds to EASE the way.....

BUT until they find what causes it and or find a cure...... your choices are few..... 

It's not JUST about Tom but me too..... if I don't stay healthy mentally and physically Tom is in deep shit...... I am his voice..... I am his caregiver, I am the rest of his life......

I am so grateful to all the well meaning people who love Tom.... and me.  I've let go of what I have learned is BEST FOR TOM and let others do their well meaning things for him......

Teddy has been a trooper in getting him out and about, into restaurants for breakfast and lunches, out bird hunting and deer hunting, riding the roads they traveled in their growing up years.......

Sister Susie finally got him (us) over for a home cooked meal...... and now brother Teddy wants to take us out for super tonight.....while sister Peggy wants to cry on his shoulder ........

OH I'm not exempt..... I was going to have brother Teddy entertain Tom so I could go see my Mom for a day..... I changed my mind when I seen what was happening to him.

Tom begged me........ MOM......please..... I've had enough.

Bored Today ?

Yesterday Brother Teddy took Tom for an afternoon ride.....   He has frequently done this so I can get something done without "Mr. I Am Bored"  under my feet. LOL
 

Well last night after Teddy dropped Tom off Tom said....."I don't want to go anymore.... I just want to stay home."  in a very whiny voice.  I was waiting for the feet to start stomping.  I did have to laugh as he was displaying his little boy pout-y face.

This morning when he woke up he asked if we could just stay home and be by ourselves today...... "you may get bored" I replied...... he was okay with that.

Tom is in such a tough stage..... even with Teddy taking him for rides.  I went with them one day to get out of the house.  Tom is none responsive to conversation.... I thought it was limited to me but that didn't seem to be the case.  All I can say is Teddy's been a real trooper.  I so appreiciate all that he has done.

 I feel somewhat refreshed and got the "kink" in my attitude straightened back out and ready to move on........ taking care of  "My Boy"......... My kids said they can hear a difference in my voice when they talk to me..... 

I have no idea WHAT we are going to do today but it's okay with me today if he sits here and tells me he's bored.  : )

Deer Hunting

The balance of October was a case of "I am bored" on a daily bases with Tom not knowing what he wanted to do because he didn't really want to do anything...... Yet all day I would hear him sigh, followed by "I'm Bored"!  Reminded me of the movie "Ground Hog Day"

BUT November now has a NEW little twist to it so it's  become a different story these days.....  Tom's twin brother Teddy came to stay with us for a while  ..... He has been amazing with his brother and has given me some room to breath..... lol

So Saturday was opening of Deer Hunting..... originally Tom wasn't going to hunt.... BUT now that Teddy was here they decided they would give it a whirl.

Tom was up early and raring to go.... I had most everything they needed in the van the night before........ "Okay Mom... we're going to leave"...... I was still laying in bed so they could have their "guy moment" before heading out.

I got up and wished them luck and they headed out the door.  I watched as the van crept down the drive way........ they stopped?....... they are backing up?...... what did they forget?

Tom and Teddy get out of the van....... "We have a flat tire" Tom said.   "WHAT?"....... yep it was FLAT as a pancake.

I stood in the door way to see what plan B was..... "Should we take your car?"  Tom asks Teddy...... They moved their gear to the car and were headed out once again.

They were home by noon....... Tom gets out of the car as I stand in the doorway of the house..... He holds out his bloody hands.....

"YEAH!!! You got a deer" !!!   I said with excitement in my voice...... But the faces I seen emerge from the car looked anything but happily excited.

Tom shot a deer but now they had to go get it as they didn't want to put it in Teddy's rental car BUT the van had a flat tire that needed to be changed.......

Tom's hunting days have come to a close...... I'm glad the last one was with his brother Teddy ...........  

Tom and I skun it out and it now is in our freezer ready for us to enjoy as we both LOVE VENISON.